Yesterday I shared what we did to celebrate three years of being married. Today I am hoping to list down most of the important lessons I have learned these past three years of being Robert's wife.
I am, in no way, the most trusted expert in marriage but one thing I am sure of: God has been very loving and patient in guiding me to always become the best wife I can be to my husband. He has shaped me into the spouse that I am today because of experiences and through the examples of other women who love Him.
What God Has Taught Me About Being Robert's Wife
1) Everyday, I make a deliberate effort to look great for my husband. I have made a promise to him a long time ago that I will never let myself go no matter what. It takes so much work to stay and look good but Robert's response is always worth it. Not only is he visually stimulated, I can feel that he is much more confident when we step out and know that we are both well-groomed.
2) I choose to trust him at all times and know that his relationship with God enables him to be trustworthy. I used to be in relationships where it was difficult for me to feel secure. Now I know how important it is to be married to someone who loves God so much and abides by His high moral standards.
I found this also important: verbally expressing to him that I trust his decisions and will support them no matter what. Robert has affirmed to me so many times that this act gives him the confidence to go on about his day.
3) I do everything I can to create a house that is pleasant to go home to. Our apartment is tiny and our current budget does not really allow us to splurge on nice things for the home. However, I have learned to be creative in making our place a loving, safe place that Robert looks forward to enter at the end of the day. It is also important that my joyful attitude covers it all.
4) I find opportunities to intercede for my husband all day, every day. I am blessed that this is something I can freely do because I work from home full-time. There are just so many things to pray for: his safety on the road, his health, his reputation, his attitude, his confidence, his decisions, his engagement with other people and so much more!
5) I always pray for men to always speak life into my husband, and that Robert may always have the humility to receive them. I find this very crucial in his spiritual growth. I am grateful that my husband intentionally seeks these men. His humility in seeking wisdom is something I pray this will always be in him.
6) I used to fight hard with people who have said unkind and discouraging things to Robert. Today, I often choose to release my battles to the Lord and have Him stand up for my husband.
7) We believe in taking advantage of opportunities to improve our marriage. We are blessed to belong to a church who runs excellent seminars that help marriages work better. We do not wait for something bad to happen to start asking for help. We are not too proud either to ask for help when needed.
8) I go out of my way to anticipate what my husband will need during the day. When it comes to serving him, I just go ahead and do it. Sometimes it is great to ask but most of the time I discovered that my husband feels really loved when he doesn't need to ask for what he needs (he doesn't express it much anyway). It communicates to him that I have lovingly thought of him and that I take delight in meeting his desires.
9) I love speaking highly of him all the time. And it's not just lip service. I am married to an honorable, kind man. He sees the beauty in every person and every situation. There are just so many things about him that inspire me to be a better person.
10) We choose to joyfully maximize each season of our relationship. Love stories are written differently. I am so glad ours worked out the way it did. We throughly enjoyed every season of our relationship. We were best friends for more than two years. Dating for one year. Engaged for another year. And now married for three years!
There is just something so amazing in totally soaking in each season and reaping the benefits of each. The spirit of not being in a hurry proved to be something that built the strength of our marriage.
And it continues to grow and stay solid. Right now, we absolutely love still going out on dates, watching movies, long dinner conversations, and impulsive runs to undiscovered places.
We understand that parenthood is the next season and we are completely content in waiting for God's right time. We are doing our best in being physically prepared but at the same time knowing that there is nothing to be anxious about. Sometimes it feels like other people are rushing us to into the next season which is completely understandable. But we know what God promised to us and it is only a matter of time that He allows our dreams to pass. In the meantime, we are enjoying this season of quality time together!
I am not, by any means, the perfect wife. There are days I just don't feel like looking pretty or sometimes I am just too tired to tidy up our home. I continue to make a lot of mistakes but through my dependence on the real source of my strength which is God, I learn something new every single day. He gives me the grace the actually love doing what I committed to do for this marriage.
Today, I truly know what it means to intentionally put Jesus in the center of a marriage. His love for me and my husband is what keeps us going.
The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!" (Lamentations 3:22-24 NASB)
1 comment
Lovely blog entry, Sam! Thank you for sharing this. Rob is blessed to have you as his wife and you are blessed to have him as your husband. You're are a great couple! God bless you! :)
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